A little crack!fic I wrote.......
There's nowhere else this will fit in so ... if fanfics aren't allowed, feel free to delete.
Title: Adventures of a Hound
Author's notes: This is a gen crack!fic so expect quite a bit of fantasy in this :D Apart from that ... enjoy!
Right, let’s keep this brief. I don’t really need to say who I am, do I? Fine, I’m Rufus Hound, and I’m pretty sure you’ve heard of that name before. Now let’s cut to the point. I’m going to be dead honest straight and admit I’m not human. Nope. From where I come from – not that I can remember, it was too long ago since I last mentioned its name – the atmosphere mutates every human and gives them a power of some kind.
I’m not joking. I can turn into a proper wheat-coloured hound, hence the name Rufus Hound. I’m not the only one that can turn into an animal, there’s a whole group of people who can do that. For others, they’ve got really superhero powered powers like telekinesis or flying or teleporting or ... you get my point. But some people are even luckier and have both. Yeah, you can get both. Don’t say you don’t believe me, I’ve met a telekinetic wolf before, ha!
So you’re wondering what on earth (no pun intended) someone who’s probably in line to be the next Marvel superhero is doing on a planet where only in dreams are there superpowers. It’s a dark reason why I’m down here. Back on our planet, there was a shadowy figure known only as Shards. No one knew who he was – and anyone who did all died mysteriously in quick succession. He wasn’t exactly the sort of bad guy you’d expect – he kept his profile so low it almost like he never existed.
One day we received news he had gone to Earth, and I was selected along with several others to go after him. It’s been 8 years and I’ve become very accustomed to Earth – in fact, so accustomed I don’t want to go back. I like it down here and so does Marcus. Brigstocke, yeah, he’s also from whether we used to live. He’s got the power of pyrokinesis and trust me, you don’t want to be on the receiving end of his fire, especially when you’re drunk and you’ve got a rather full bottle in your hand.
Anyway, we got the call Shards had been detected within the UK and we were
forced rather horribly told to do a comedy panel show called Argumental, where apparently Shards would be incredibly active. Beats me how they knew really but Marcus and I had to accepted. And then ... well ... this is what happened really.